Saturday 7 September 2013

Autumn and Life Begins

This week brought the return of early mornings, packed lunches, school uniforms, homework and routine.  Yes, term starts again and the children are all back at school.  There is a noticeable difference in the weather too; the sun is slower to rise in the mornings, it feels chilly when we step out of bed and the evenings are drawing in at a rapid rate of knots.  It was dark before half past seven last night and the wind howled and the rain pounded the earth all night long.  The landscape is unmistakably autumnal.

September brings not only the start of a new school year, but also the opportunity to start other things afresh too.  I am not a person who likes change and I would rather cling onto something in the hope that it will turn out fine than change for the sake of it.  Better the devil you know...But sometimes it is thrust upon us and we just have to look at all the benefits
and roll with it.  And that is what I am doing at the moment.  After 16 blissfully happy months of living in my beautiful windswept cottage, it is time to leave.

I am at once sad and delighted.  Sad because I love this place so much and it allowed my children and I to recover from an unpleasant ordeal.  We have grown, gained strength and come out shining, all thanks to this cottage.  But it was never mine and we were never meant to stay for ever.  It is sad beyond words, but sometimes something brighter awaits us if we are brave enough to look.

Last week I looked and to my utter astonishment, I found.  I was not expecting to find anywhere else to live that I would love as much as here, but I did.  I didn't find a cottage, but a small house, just big enough for the four of us and with a large garden that was once loved very much but now stands sad and forlorn.  That was enough for me!  A garden in need of rescue!  What could be more of and enticement to a long frustrated gardener?  I almost fell into a faint when I discovered that it has a huge poly tunnel hidden behind a hedge!  This was getting better and better.  Of course, after the initial excitement I come down to earth with a bump as reality set in, but I silenced my demons and applied for the tenancy and yesterday I heard that I had been successful.  Again, a moment of elation followed closely by fear and panic.  What if we don't like it there?  What if the dogs scratch the doors?  What if there isn't a bus to take the children to school?  What if?  What if?  What if?  You get the picture.  I am a bag of nerves.

The amount of work I have to do is scaring me a little and we move in less than a month.  Yes, I do feel a bit sick.

But then I think of the garden;  I will be able to have a compost heap, grow flowers, salad and vegetables and maybe if I behave myself, the owners will let me keep a few hens there in time.

I used to keep hens for quite a few years when the children were growing up and the last one, Clarissa, died before I had to sell my last home.  I didn't replace them as I knew I would have to rent a house and having hens would just complicate things.  But maybe next year I will have a few hens in my life again.  I was very tempted by this chicken keeping magazine, so I bought it this morning and it's lovely!  I must restrain myself for a while though and not buy every chicken magazine I see.  One is enough for now.

We have had a week full of new beginnings; Pea has begun Sixth Form at school and has embarked on two years of hard study for A levels.  She has chosen to take five.  I would seriously struggle with one, but Pea loves learning and studying, and she is clearly very good at it, so she will get all the support I can give her.  H1 has started his GCSE year, so he will be in the thick of it before we know it and H2 is in the last year of primary school.  Already he is bored and he's only been back for four days.  He is ready to move on, but I am glad it won't be just yet!

After months of navel gazing, head scratching and feeling sorry for myself, I have finally decided what I should be doing to earn money.  I do not like the idea of earning money as it implies someone else is in control of you and you have to dance to their tune.  Being a mum for sixteen years has meant that I am used to working by myself and being my own boss.  I admit I am not a team player and am much happier on my own, so to that end, I have decided on taking up my Welsh Language studies with the intention of becoming a Welsh language tutor to adults.  Another reason to get panicky and feel sick!  My former tutor is very supportive and indeed it was her idea, diolch Sharon, so if it goes wrong at least I can blame her!

I am actually quite excited at the prospect of having something different to fill my mind and it will have less time for idle thought and daydreaming.  My spare moments will see me in the garden or writing notes and plans for beds and boarders spilling over with colour and edible loveliness.  Pea is looking forward to nailing up the bird box she made with my dad last weekend.

There is a large tree outside the kitchen window at the new house and she plans to put it there, so we will get to see any avian activity as it happens.

So, even though a lot of things in our lives are ending and beginning, my blog will remain constant.  I will still be living on the island, although a little further away from the sea than I have been, I will still make and bake and show you the results, good and bad; I will still take lots of pictures of our surroundings and write about the countryside, seasons, wildlife and home life.  Our new home is tucked away in a little woodland and is quite isolated, so we will miss the gorgeous views we have enjoyed so much here, but I have lived in a wood before and it's very cosy.  We are looking forward to being so close to nature and seeing what unfolds there over time.  Mixed feelings; nerves and excitement and so much to remember and do by myself.  Eek!

I have often found that the scariest things in life bring the best rewards.  Two days ago my lovely, brave sister-in-law gave birth to a perfect baby boy, 19 days early.  He was a surprise to us all as he should, by rights, still be cooking nicely inside his mum.  He obviously had other ideas though and wanted out into the world to see what all the fuss is about.  His big sister (at the tender age of 4) told her dad that she doesn't like boys.  He assured her she would like this one and his suspicions were confirmed on arrival at the hospital as her face burst into a gorgeous grin.  She has been talking none-stop about him and absolutely adores her little love bug (as she calls him!).  I think it is probably just as well that he has no idea of what lies ahead of him.  He will be in danger of being smothered with love from his sister and will endure all manner of lessons in life to ensure he can cope with it all.  She will adore him and protect him, until the day comes when he slobbers on her dress or chews a favourite book or 'borrows' something without asking.  Then things may be a little different.  As Pea said, she will love him now then when he grows up and can argue, she will detest him.  My children are a delight.

Well done R, you did it!

I hope September brings you new beginnings and lots to look forward to. Thank you for reading.xxx

1 comment:

  1. I wish you every success in your move to a new location. May you find a creative outlet that has the added benefit of giving you money!! I enjoy read your blog.

    Myra, from Winnipeg, Canada, where we had a drizzly day today.

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