I have been a single woman now for over four years. It is not always easy, sometimes lonely but I do have the advantage of being free to please myself and do what I like whenever I like. Granted this can wear a bit thin over time, but then I think back to the bit of my life when that was most definitely not the case, and it makes it all seem fresh and new and very much appreciated. Finding someone to share life with is always tricky but it most certainly gets harder as you get older. I am usually pretty good at reading people and picking up on their vibes - except when it comes to romance, or should I say any romance where I feature as the lead role. Then I am useless. I have no idea if someone is being nice to me because they like me or because they like me..if you see what I mean. I am pre-disposed to warming to people a little too readily and always give the benefit of the doubt way beyond the point where I should have told the person in question to stick it and go and nurse my wounded heart with a huge bar of Dairy Milk. So it would appear that I have a problem and one that I'm not entirely sure can be fixed. I have an invisible sign that flashes above my head only detectable by morons and cretins. Trouble is, I have no idea what it says.
Many years ago, when I was a young teenager, my sister and I would spend Saturday evenings attending the under 14's disco in the Scout Hut in our village. I loved it and spent ages getting ready and feeling excited about dancing about in the semi dark, where no one knew or cared if you went a bit wrong now and then. It was just nice to dance and have fun. I'm too old for all that now and ballroom dancing requires a partner and I don't have one, so my dancing plans were put to the back of my mind where they languished and gathered an alarming amount of dust. Until one Saturday at the end of May. The children and I had gone to the beach, stopping off at the library on the way back to the car. I noticed a poster in the window listing all the activities going on during the week at the village hall. A few things looked interesting but nothing that I really wanted to do but then I reached the bottom of the list and saw two words that would start a minor addiction and change my Monday nights for ever...Line Dancing.
Strangely enough, line dancing is something I have wanted to try for the last 20 years but never had the chance. And you don't need a partner. I hopped about a bit wondering if I had the nerve to go. Pea could see I really wanted to do it and like the good daughter she is, she volunteered to come with me. We found a contact number and I rang up. I made sure the lady who answered the phone knew that we were complete beginners and may not be much good. She said 'Just turn up and have a go.' So we did. And boy am I glad! We dance every Monday evening for three hours. We have picked it up quickly, according to the people who have been attending the class for years, and are having so much fun doing it. We have made new friends and have found that everyone has been delighted to have two new, enthusiastic people joining them. The only problem I have found is that I can't sleep at night because I am going through the dances and music in my head. It's exhausting! When we learnt a dance to The Countdown by Lonestar, I hardly slept for three nights. I spent the whole week dancing about in the kitchen, in the lanes and anywhere there was a space to practise my steps. Eventually I cracked it and now I can really go for it when we do it as a class. It's totally addictive and for that I am delighted.
The garden is a minor addiction too and just about as tiring! We finally dug out all the weeds from this boarder a week ago and planted the Allium bulbs we bought at the show, some Linaria Purpurea that I grew from seed and a few things that I purchased in a sale. It looks a lot better for it as the weeds and mess were getting me down. Pea and H2 worked hard with me and eventually took over the planting and left me to carry weeds to the compost bin and do the donkey work.
The rest of the garden is balancing precariously between late Summer abundance and early Autumn sleepiness. There have been signs of the next season knocking gently at the door for a good few weeks now. We have already picked and frozen bags of blackberries, picked from the brambles pushing through the hedges in our garden. Yellow leaves are littering the ground further up the track and the evenings are chilly and dark. August is a transition: Enjoy me while you can, she says, It's almost over. September can be a final song of loveliness with hot days and blue skies, but the late afternoon chill and fading light reminds us that the dark half of the year is close on it's heels.
Tomorrow is a big day for H1; the GCSE results are out. He has completed his first year exams but the main bulk of them will be taken from Christmas onwards so he only has a few results to collect tomorrow. He has actually worked really hard this time and I really hope his results reflect that, which will encourage him to do more next year. Pea had her AS results last week. She was disappointed but I have no idea why as she did incredibly well. She received an A, two Bs and a C. She couldn't have done anymore if she tried, there just weren't enough hours in the day. Too much hard work and study is good for no one and so she will be whittling down her four A levels to a more manageable three. Thank goodness for that.
The summer holidays are coming to an end and it's hard to believe that five weeks have gone by in a heartbeat. I will miss the children when they return to school but the house will benefit from a good scrub as I have been a bit too relaxed about cleaning over the summer. There is a tell tale line of black dog hairs hugging the gap between the skirting boards and the carpet. There are one or two dead blue bottles desiccating in corners and spiders have reared healthy broods in elaborate webs strung from the ceilings. Soon be time for a pre-Autumn clean. Sadly I cannot achieve the results I desire with a house full of teenagers and dogs, so it will just have to wait a bit longer. What a shame.
I hope you have a lovely evening and thank you for reading. xxx
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