Sparkle

After the rain comes the sun and after a day or two of heavy down pours, thunder rumbling across the island and flashes of lightening bright enough to hurt your eyes, it was very welcome indeed.  The sun was up and about before I was yesterday.  My alarm rudely interrupted my lazy dreaming and while I fumbled about trying to turn it off with my eyes closed, I became aware of a brightness in my bedroom; the sun was beating down on us and beckoning us outside.  I slid into my new summer dress and drove H2 to school with windows down and Luke Bryan up, much to his obvious distaste.  The world was awake, on the move and in no rush. 

Mother Nature had sprinkled a million tiny diamonds on all of her creations; the sun's rays making grass, leaves and flowers glitter and sparkle as they moved gently in the cool breeze.  Even the sky looked freshly laundered and clouds plumped and clean.  I came home, took the dogs into the garden and moved all of my young plants from the poly tunnel into the garden.  They will stay there now, in their pots for a few more days then we can start the fun of planting them out and watching them fill the garden with colour, scent and bees.

One thing I have noticed is how every one seems much more relaxed when the sun shines.  I spend a lot of time driving around country lanes in my car and wave and smile to everyone I pass.  I mean, why wouldn't I?  I am lucky enough to live on this beautiful island and enjoy everything about it every day, I imagine most of the people I pass regularly do too, so waving to them is like saying 'Hey, aren't WE the lucky ones!'  Most wave back happily but sadly some of them just don't get it, they look but they don't respond.  Maybe they are having a bad day, haven't really noticed me smiling or are just plain rude, it doesn't matter, it's annoying but I keep doing it anyway.  It makes me feel good and because of it I'm now enjoying the benefits of seeing people every day and exchanging a cheerful wave and a beaming smile.  It doesn't matter that I don't know them, I may do one day and a smile can be such a powerful thing.  At it's best it may be the only nice thing that happens to a person that day; a stranger smiling at them.  And the worse thing that can happen is that it leaves them wondering what you know that they don't!

I do admit to smiling and laughing easily, maybe a bit too much.  H1 has receded into his little shell where the walls are impenetrable by me.  He doesn't communicate readily with me much and finds me a major embarrassment.  I asked him why.  'Why can't you just be normal?'  He responded.  'Normal?'  I asked, 'What the heck does that mean?'  'I dunno, just normal.'  Well without a bit more to go on than that I will just have to stay me.  Sad and pathetic though I obviously am.  Somehow I will have to live with it.  It could have something to do with my taste in music, the way I sing, dress, talk, move, laugh (quite loud, actually) breathe....you name it.  Pea thinks I am a delight and accepts my unique qualities, maybe because she possesses some herself.  To H2 I am still mam and still the best and he will still hold my hand in public and not care who sees.  H1 can barely bring himself to be seen in the same shop as me and being in the car together is nothing short of mild torture.  As there has been little altercation between the two of us beyond the usual 'How was your day gorgeous?' and his mumbled reply, I decided to try to reach my son on a deeper level.  He loves music and is always plugged into something but I never get to hear any of it.  When I was that age EVERYONE heard the music I was listening to, whether they liked it or not.  I asked what he was currently into.  He slowly raised his eyes almost to mine but they stopped short somewhere around my chin level. 'Why do you want to know that?'  he asked in a slightly suspicious manner.  'Just making conversation, don't panic.'  'Uh, you wouldn't have heard of any of it.'  Well no, I don't doubt that.  'Do they play any of it on the radio?  What genre do you like?'  (Hey, I sound really cool!)  He slowly began to relax a tad and uncurl himself enough to tell me a couple of things I may, possibly, have heard of.  He spoke quite fluently for about two minutes, his perfect shaped face and smooth skin flushed with the pleasure of talking on a subject he loved and was comfortable with.  For a brief period my son and I connected and then he remembered he was conversing with his seriously un-cool mother and ended the conversation while I was still half way through it.  Never mind, at least I know he's still in there and providing I feed and clothe him, I have nothing further to trouble myself with.  Thank God.

I am delighted he has music to escape to, we all need something when the strain of everyday life gets too much.  I love 'singing' loudly in the car as it helps me to release tension and actually prevents me getting too many dreaded migraines.  I also love wandering around my garden, weeding and just daydreaming about the way it will look in a few months time.  I daydream about most things to be honest; my garden, the country smallholding I will someday own with my gorgeous country loving boyfriend, the produce I can grow and the things I can make with it.  Some would say I am wasting time and should really be getting on with paying bills and scrubbing floors but daydreaming means I have something to aspire to.  It doesn't mean I'm not happy in the here and now; I couldn't be more so, but the secret to a good life it to keep it moving forward in a positive way that keeps you interested and excited about it.  A garden is the same, so is a relationship, a home, the things we eat and the way we dress.  Keep it fresh, keep it light and keep it fun.

Where ever you go today, smile and share your beauty with everyone you see.  Some may think you are mad but you never know, you could just save someone's life.  Have a happy day! xxx